This week has been so surreal. I finished my final paediatric and final adult placement, I had my last lecture of this degree and last night was potentially our last night out to Q with everyone.
I’ve been hustling for so long that it feels strange not to have another placement to look forward to. On one hand, the sense of relief and joy when everything ended was unmistakable- it is a well-deserved break after slogging for the past 4 years. On the other hand, it’s also a reminder that the hand-holding ends here. The next time I step into the clinic, I’ll no longer be a student and I will be fully responsible for all the clinical decisions I make. Even though it’ll still be some time before I become fully registered and get my license, the change in status feels monumental. The sense of duty and obligation seems to have grown exponentially overnight. I have always known that I owe it to my patients to perform at my best every single time, but without someone keeping me on my toes all the time, I’m just worried that I won’t realise if/when I’m not giving my 100%. Yes there will be clinical supervision, especially in the early days, but the dynamics will definitely be different because of the change in status. As I’m writing this, I hope I’ll remember that there’s always something I can do better, that the version of me tomorrow should always be better than the version of me yesterday.
When I stepped out of the last lecture yesterday evening, it felt so unreal that that marked the end of my 16 years in formal education. It’ll be a while before I’m thrown into this sort of learning environment again and I really think I’ll miss it. There’s just something strangely enjoyable about the process of listening to what these experts have to say, then reading up and making notes afterwards. I can’t say that I feel the same way about the assessments we have to take after going through this process though haha
And then there was last night. Q has been such a staple of our nights out these 4 years – we’re there for Halloweens, Christmases, end-of-term celebrations, birthday celebrations and any kind of celebration really. Q is the embodiment of how we work hard and play hard throughout our uni life. It’s an experience I’m glad to have shared with all the friends I’ve made in uni and I’ll always look back on these memories fondly. ❤️
That’s enough rambling I think (There will definitely be a part 2 to this when I make my final coursework submission and sit for my last exam.) Easter break has officially begun so it’s time to enjoy the emerging sunshine and the company of everyone before we all go on holiday. There’s dissertation and portfolio and exams to study for, but it’ll all be done in good time! For now, the Vitamin D is calling us ☀️
adventuresofxmm 