I’m writing this at 40,000 ft in the air, with a little less than 2 hours left to landing in Heathrow airport. Although I am literally flying into the new year, I don’t think it’s metaphorical counterpart applies entirely. 2017 has been an entire year of ups and downs. I’ve suffered some hard knocks, but I’ve also had some gems who have accompanied me every step of the way, to pick me up when I feel defeated. I’ve learned and I’ve grown; but all this happened gradually over time, not overnight. I’m not flying into the new year; I’m walking into it, a little bruised and battered, but with the most important people by my side (albeit not always physically).
The leap from Year 2 to Year 3 has been difficult to say the least. Each year, I think that it’s impossible to work even harder than the last one, but I do. In the span of 12 months, I’ve gone from being hardworking but still coping with the stress (that mostly came from non-academic events) to working my butt off and still feeling like I’m struggling to stay afloat. I suppose the Singaporean education system has prepared me well for pure studying (ie going for classes then taking exams), but it definitely did not prepare me to juggle between placements, exams and keeping up with the independent studying that is required of us. The next term is only going to get worse, so I suppose what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. We’ve all heard about how horrific Year 3 is but you really need the first-hand experience to understand how much stress all of us are going through. On the bright side, Year 4 will be much better- we just need to scrape our way through what’s left of this academic year.
In the non-academic realm, so much has happened; it’s been so eventful that I cannot believe that it has only been a year. I’ve closed my chapter in the Singapore society, yet continued writing my story with the RVUK team for another academic year. In SHS, I’ve changed roles, changed responsibilities and although it’s still a work-in-progress, I do hope that I can leave my legacy. In MOHH, I’ve spent the first half of the year (and the last few months of 2016) with my HSIC team, trying our best to put together the first scholars-led camp for the incoming batch. We put our heart and soul into it, because we wanted it to be the best that it can be. To those who have stuck with me throughout the entire journey, I can’t thank you enough for believing in me, for believing in my vision, for believing that we could work together to turn this idea into reality, no matter how difficult it may be. Thank you for showing me that we always had each others’ backs, regardless of the physical distance between us.
The vacation attachment this summer had also opened my eyes to what working life would be like when I return for good in less than 2 years time. The job scope is so different and so much more challenging than what I’ve experienced thus far in my uk placements, but I’m honestly looking forward to becoming part of the team. I hope that I’ll be as competent sooner rather than later and that I’ll be able to make a positive difference to all my patients’ lives.
2017 has been a year of milestones. For the first 11 months, I’ve celebrated with my friends who were turning 21 and then I celebrated my own 21st in the last one. My cousin had his first daughter this year and I’m so happy for this new addition to the family. Just last week, I’ve attended my first friend’s wedding. It’s quite strange seeing your own name on the wedding invitation instead of your parents’, but I suppose it’s the first concrete sign that we are all indeed growing up. I’ve let some friendships come to it’s inevitable end, instead of fighting to keep it going, because I guess I’ve finally realised that I’m fighting a losing battle and that I need to save my energy for the people who are worth fighting for. At the same time, I’ve reconnected with old friends whom I didn’t expect to still be talking to at this stage and I’ve also gained some gems who I think will be sticking around for quite some time.
It’s not “new year, new me” because I didn’t and I cannot change overnight. I can be in different countries overnight (literally welcoming 2018 each time I cross into a new timezone), but I’m still the same me when I bade 2017 goodbye. I can’t doubt that the version of myself at the end of 2017 is different from the one at the start of 2017, but the entire process needed time and all the people that fate planted in my life. So here’s to a “new year, better me” in 2018, one day at a time.
adventuresofxmm 